A Perfect Match
by MJSkySailor
Summary: All of his clients agree that Teddy Lupin's matchmaking skills are well worth the price. Teddy wishes that he was as good at finding love for himself as he was for everyone else. Teddy has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
1. Chapter 1

"There is no 'settling down' without some 'settling for'." –Dan Savage

oOoOo

Teddy Lupin straightened his quills meticulously as Draco Malfoy entered his office and sat in the chair across from him. He greeted the older man with a warm smile and pulled out a file folder.

"Draco," Teddy began, "What brings you here? Not looking for a wife for Scorpius already, are you?"

Malfoy smiled tightly and shook his head. "Believe it or not, Astoria and I agreed we wouldn't subject our poor son to an arranged marriage. No, I'm actually here for myself." He touched one of Teddy's quills and shifted it back and forth on the mahogany desktop. Teddy felt his neck muscles tighten, but he forced himself to shake it off and meet Draco's eyes. Draco continued.

"Now that Scorpius is away at Hogwarts, Astoria and I have agreed that the best thing we can do for our marriage is to… well, quite frankly, we've agreed to have an open marriage. Mainly due to my sexual preference for members of my gender." Draco looked at Teddy for signs of an adverse reaction, but Teddy merely nodded and opened the laptop Harry had given him as a graduation present.

"What are the most important things you are looking for in a partner?" he asked, opening the program that would search his database.

Draco looked thoughtful for a moment. "Physical attractiveness. Intelligence. Financial stability. The ability to hold an engaging conversation. And, most importantly, someone with a respect for discression."

Teddy typed away at his computer for a few seconds. "Can you be more specific about what you find physically attractive?"

"Tall, I suppose. Not overly muscular, but with some definition. I prefer a classically handsome face with dark hair and eyes."

Teddy nodded and continued typing. "I'm going to tell you what I tell all of my clients. There is virtually no way I can match you with someone who meets all of your qualifications, but I do my best to find the closest candidates." He began clicking through files, reviewing the profiles and pictures of the gay and bisexual men in his database. He pulled out the best matches to review with Draco.

"I have a short, intelligent brunette or a tall, more simple dirty blonde. Which do you prefer?"

"The brunette."

"What about a wiry, out-and-proud pureblood or a buff, closeted half-blood?"

"How buff?"

"Feral werewolf buff."

"That one."

Teddy went through a few more questions with his cousin before closing all but one window and pivoting the screen. "Draco Malfoy, meet Alec Chamberlain, your match."

Malfoy gave a low whistle when he saw the photo. "Well done, Lupin. I'm impressed. You'll call and arrange a date?"

"Of course. I'm thinking of a quiet, intimate dinner at a Muggle restaurant for privacy's sake. Does Friday work for you?"

Draco nodded and pulled out a pouch. "I believe your rate is twenty galleons per session?"

Teddy waved a dismissive hand. "We're family."

"I insist. If you can't take it from me, take it from Astoria. She thinks twenty galleons is more than worth it to keep me from sulking about the manor all day." He slid the bag the rest of the way across the desk. "Buy the Weasley girl something pretty. Isn't it about time to look for a ring?" He chuckled and let himself out. Teddy put his quill back parallel with the others, and felt the tension in his neck muscles disappear.

oOoOo

Teddy returned to his London flat with four bags of groceries in hand. He set them on the counter and began putting them away, delighting in turning the cans and bottles so that the labels faced exactly forward. After he had assured himself that everything was on the appropriate shelf in the correct order, he saw the letter on the table. Teddy was surprised he hadn't seen it earlier, since it had been placed there carelessly with one corner hanging over the edge of the table. Frowning, he aligned it correctly in the center of the table before picking it up and opening it.

_Dear Teddy,_

_How are you? I'm doing well, and thoroughly enjoying my final year at Hogwarts. Classes are challenging, but as you said, at least the content is interesting. I can hardly believe that I will be working in the 'real world' only months from now._

_I suppose I should get to the point. Teddy, I've been doing some thinking. We've been together for two years, and you are a wonderful boyfriend. You are funny and romantic, and I consider myself lucky to know you as I do. However, in the time I have spent away from you, I have come to realize something. I thought that I would be lonely without you. I thought I would send you a letter every day, and count down the weeks until Christmas hols. But Teddy, I found that I like not having my belongings arranged precisely, or worrying that something I am doing is causing you stress. As much as it pains me to admit this, I think we should break up._

_I will always be fond of you. You are a dear friend, and I hope you will find someone who can love you despite your condition. Please don't be too angry with me, Teddy. You deserve more than I can give you._

_With love,_

_Victoire_

Teddy folded the parchment exactly four times before igniting it with his wand. With tears filling his eyes, he dashed to the floo and called his godfather.


	2. Chapter 2

"I just don't get it," moaned Teddy, draining his ninth lager and lining the empty bottle alongside the other eight. "I mean, I thought we were good. I was going to propose when she finished school." He signaled the bartender for another before folding his arms and burying his face in them.

Harry rubbed his godson's back and took a sip of his own beer. "Maybe it's good you found out now. I mean, you could've been married with kids before she realized she couldn't stand the way you clean the loo."

Teddy looked up and accepted his next beer. "Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

Harry peeled the label off of his own bottle. "Look, Teddy, she's your first girlfriend…"

"Was," Teddy interrupted, picking up the scraps of label his godfather had littered the bar with. "Waswaswaswaswas."

"She was your first girlfriend. Most people don't marry their first girlfriend, you know." Teddy glared at him without taking his mouth off of his beer. Harry raised his hands defensively. "I mean it! I had a girlfriend before Ginny, and she had boyfriends before me. Breaking up sucks, but you get over it eventually."

Teddy shook his head miserably. "I'm worried there is no one else for me. Even my computer program says she's my first match."

Harry gave him an amused glance. "You put Victoire in that database of yours? Love's not as easy as typing in some keywords, you know."

"Tell that to my bank account. And my clients. I can match nearly anyone, you know. Except myself, apparently." He took another long drink. "Why do I have to be like this?"

"Like what?" Harry asked. Teddy waved a hand toward the perfectly straight row of empty bottles, all turned with the labels facing forward. Harry shrugged. "Everyone has something about themselves that they don't like. Yours just happens to be diagnosable."

"Mild to moderate obsessive compulsive disorder. Doesn't seem so mild when someone breaks up with you for it." He drained his beer and contemplated ordering another. One more and he would've had eleven, which he could handle. But eleven was an odd number, so he would have to have twelve. And twelve sometimes led to vomiting, which sometimes led to falling asleep with a messy bathroom and that was NOT on. He put the tenth bottle in line with the rest before he could work himself into a panic attack.

Harry must have noticed his distress because he put an arm around Teddy and took deep breaths, wordlessly encouraging him to do the same. When Teddy had calmed down, Harry released him with a light pat on the shoulder. "I know it doesn't feel like it, but you could be a lot worse. You don't wash yourself raw, or pick at your skin. You aren't anti-social and even having a two year relationship to begin with is more than most kids your age can do." He gestured toward the row of bottles. "Someday, someone is going to think that's the most adorable thing they've ever seen. _That's_ the person you're meant to be with, Teddy. The fact that you and Victoire didn't last proves that she wasn't the one for you. Just give it some time. You'll find someone, I promise." He slid off of the barstool and held an arm out toward Teddy. "Shall I stumble you home, good sir?"


	3. Chapter 3

Bill Weasley was the last person Teddy expected to see in the Floo while he sat in the living room looking through files, but he smiled and let him in anyways. In the five months since he and Victoire had broken up, he hadn't seen much of the Weasleys, and he expected that the reason for Bill's appearance was to change that. Bill pulled him in for a hug that stayed just on the side of not being too confining, for which Teddy was extremely grateful.

"Hey mate," Bill said jovially. "Haven't heard from you in awhile. Thought I'd make sure you hadn't starved to death, or suffocated under a pile of folders."

Teddy shook his head. "I could never suffocate under a pile of file folders. They're too well-organized." He gestured to the four small stacks on his desk.

Bill chuckled. "True enough. In any case, the wife and I have decided to lure you out of your cave and remind you that you are, in fact, part of the family. Despite whatever impression my daughter might have given you."

Teddy shook his head. "She didn't give me any impression. I just figured I would stay away until things were a bit less awkward between us. Especially since she brought her… her new boyfriend over for Christmas." He felt his neck tighten up. Even after five months, the thought of Victoire with someone else still stung.

Bill scoffed and his eyes went hard. "Patrick. Not too fond of him, to tell you the truth. Boy's got muscles where his brain's supposed to be. Don't know what that girl was thinking, letting you go."

"Could we not talk about her? Or my giant, muscly replacement? Please?" Teddy pleaded.

Bill's eyes softened and turned back to Teddy. "Sure, kid. Anyways, that's not why I came here."

"No?"

"No." He untied the previously unnoticed Bertie Bott's and dumped them all onto the table in front of Teddy. "I need someone to help me sort all these beans."

~o0o0o0o0o~

Teddy and Bill fell into an easy rhythm of sorting all of the beans by colour. As a child, it had been one of Teddy's favorite hobbies, and even in adulthood the simple, repetitive task soothed him and distracted him from his anxieties. Bill was one of the few people who would do something like this with him; the only other being James Potter. While everyone else stayed up-to-date on the newest treatments and made sure he took his potions, Bill and James sat there calmly and let him put his world in order, in whatever way he wanted, when he needed to. When they were nearly done putting the beans in order, Bill spoke again.

"So what about you? Been seeing anyone new?"

Teddy shook his head. "No, too much work to do. Anyways, it's not like there's a line out the door to date someone with… someone like me," he finished.

Bill pushed a green bean in line with the others. "You, er, go for blokes too, right?"

Teddy felt his cheeks go red. "Er, yeah. Occasionally," he added, feeling a bit awkward about having this discussion with his ex-girlfriend's father. "Why?"

"There's a new intern at the bank. Fit, hard-working, probably into blokes. Anyways, he's… he's like you."

Teddy raised his eyebrows slightly. "Like me how?" he asked.

Bill gestured toward the neatly arranged lines of coloured beans. "Like you."


	4. Chapter 4

Teddy sat at the table, carefully placing his silverware parallel to each other while he was waiting for his date to arrive. He had spent the early evening using ironing charm after ironing charm on his clothes, combing and re-combing his hair, and completing his usual thirty minute teeth cleaning routine. Twice. He Apparated to the restaurant ten minutes early, then had to Apparate back to his apartment when he couldn't remember if he had warded the door. He had, but while he was there he took an extra dose of his calming potion. Once he was seated, silver properly aligned and at a table with an even number of seats, he willed himself to relax.

"All right, Teddy," he coached himself, "No need to be nervous. It's just a first date." Still, he re-arranged his water glass several times until a handsome young man walked through the door.

He had to hand it to Bill; despite his initial discomfort with going on a blind date with someone his _ex-girlfriend's dad _had picked for him, the man approaching his table was extremely attractive. He had neatly arranged blond hair, strong cheekbones and honey-brown eyes. He smiled shyly as Teddy stood up.

"Hi," the young man greeted. "I'm Julian Rodenbeck. Are you Bill Weasley's nephew?"

"Yeah. Teddy Lupin. It's nice to meet you." He held out his hand for Julian to shake, but Julian took a sharp breath in and stepped back the slightest bit. Teddy saw that his hands were red and raw looking. "Er, sorry." He withdrew his hand.

"No worries," Julian said, giving Teddy a reassuring smile. "Bill told me you were… you know. Too."

"I am. I'm more of a counter than a washer, though." Teddy sat back down and Julian did the same. "I hope the restaurant is alright. I didn't know what your preferences were."

Julian's eyes lit up. "Oh, it's lovely. One of the only places with a decent vegetarian menu. I can't stand the sight of meat, especially when it leaves blood all over the plate." He shuddered and took a sip of water.

Teddy had actually _really_ been looking forward to a thick steak, extra rare, but for the sake of his date he decided to reconsider. After all, sooner or later one of his _behaviors _would make itself known, and he hoped Julian would understand. "Er, yeah. I love vegetarian too." Julian smiled.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

"And for you I have," Teddy announced as his computer flipped rapidly through the last few files, "Former Minister of Magic Kingsley Shacklebolt," he finished, a note of surprise in his voice."

His client's eyebrows shot up. "The minister? Are you sure, Teddy?"

Teddy shrugged. "The numbers don't lie. Besides, do you think I would set such an esteemed client up with anyone but the best?" he said with a wink.

Andromeda Tonks blushed lightly. "You didn't have to do that. I'm just excited to be out on any date at all. You were right, it has been far too long since I've met someone new."

"I'd say that's a bit of an understatement, seeing as you were telling me the same thing three months after Victoire."

"And I was right, wasn't I? How is that young man you've been seeing?"

Teddy grinned. "Julian's fine. We've got a date tonight." He and Julian had been seeing each other for two months now; usually just casual dinner and conversation. Tonight Teddy was planning a more intimate meal at his apartment.

"And when will you bring him home for dinner so that I can meet him?" Andromeda asked pointedly.

"Soon, very soon, Gran. I promise."


End file.
